I feel very strongly about the importance of providing a safe and sane environment for children — giving them every possible opportunity to thrive and accomplish everything of which they are capable.

Here is an interesting posting from Stan Dubin on his A Fresh Opinion blog:

There are many ways children try to contribute. When they’re very young, their contribution may simply be "making us smile." When that happens, be sure to acknowledge them. They will feel that they’ve gotten through and have "done their job." Children want to contribute and will attempt many ways to do so. If parents (and others around them) do not accept these efforts to contribute, they will find OTHER ways to contribute, and these "other" ways may not make you smile.

To reiterate, Mr. Hubbard said: "A human being feels able and competent only so long as he is permitted to contribute as much or more than he has contributed to him." What if your child is somewhat older — 7 or 8 or even a teenager — and you’ve never stressed this point of contribution and you’re now witnessing a child that’s not the pure joy you anticipated? What to do?

Well, the solution is to make it very okay for your child to contribute. Give him/her some easy things to do that are helpful. Give the child some wins on contributing. Acknowledge him/her when any positive contribution occurs. The idea is gently and gradually increase the child’s WILLINGNESS to contribute. If you slowly but surely accomplish this one feat of getting your child to contribute "as much or more than he has contributed to him", you will see some VERY positive changes in your child.

It may take a bit to accomplish this, but it is worth every effort on your part. Do NOT try to enforce this on the child all at once. Forcing contribution has never been a winning strategy. Bring it about gradually and at a pace your child can handle and your child’s mental well being will tremendously improve.

 

Has it ever happened to you that you had an idea of how you could help someone - whether at work or at home - and were then told to do it?

I know this has happened with me a number of times, and you can feel your willingness and enthusiasm drain out. 

Of course it is possible to get it back again - just by assuming the viewpoint that it is still your free will not someone else’s orders, motivating your actions - which of course it is. 

But, for me, the difference is so dramatic — it can be the difference between something being a joy to do and a chore.

Imagine how much more for a child who has less choice and less opportunity to create.